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Sunday, February 22, 2009

well hello dear readers how are you all today? If the answer is good than i am pleased,if the answer is not so great you need to go put shaving cream on your hand and than tickle yourself with an eagle feather!!!
WEll i must say that i have not had anything good to poke fun at for some time but now i think i have got it!!!! wahaha Have you ever seen your face...jokes jokes...really have you ever met anyone that is a pyro? Well let me tell you how scary these guys can be...i say guys because 98% of the time Pyros are of the male gender. Raise your hand if you have ever been at scout camp around the fire eating oatmeal or something and you noticed one boy scout exhibiting odd behavior...Such as pouring lighterfluid on the fire creating a stream of flame heading towards his own hand which is HOLDING A FLAMMABLE CONTAINER OF LIGHTER FLUID...the kid might as well be holding a proximity mine from the game Goldeneye for N64(those suckers are dangerous)!! Another common thing pyros do for excitement is to jump in and out of the camp fire to see if he can out quick the flames that are just licking there lips...Pyros often will try to light there own little fire right next to the regular fire just because they can...or they will make torches to carry around...if the pyro is really bad he will actually tie bullets together and throw those in the fire just to see if he can actually dodge death! Yeah that is a great idea Capernicus!
So for your own safety i wanna give you a few things to look for so that you can steer clear of these angels of death!
1-if you see a boy running around with hair spray and a lighter you may wanna hide in the nearest bomb shelter!
2-If you see a boy wearing a tan shirt with green shorts and a green sash with or without barf green and red socks i would not make friends with him cause chances are he has singed and scalded his fair share of people.
3-If a boy tells you he has saved all his money for the fourth of July..Run!
4-If his name is Jeb or Abe or Rev the chances are high that he is a pyro genetically.
Well there are a few tips for you...
So what if you get cornered by one of these people that have more furry in them than five actual Suns....?
1-Always have a bottle of water available...(there is nothing more scary to a Pyro than water...In fact statistics show that 9 out of every 11 Pyros are afraid of water! Another statistic recently published in READERS DIGEST hinted at new studies pointing to the fact that there has never been a shark descovered with Pyro tendencies)
2-DO not put hairspray in your hair or flammable gel on your dome if you sit in front of a boy with an ammo belt of lighters...this would not be wise.
3-Try to stay close to girls because chances are they are not a pyro and there is an even higher chance that they will never be interested in a pyro....because although Pyros are HOT they are not hot if you know what i mean?
SO what happens if one of these flame happy goofballs lights you on fire? Well than a couple options are before you...you could jump in a lake, you could stop and drop and roll, or you could light the pyro on fire and both of you could burn to death together! well i hope i was of some help have a good day readers.

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