Wednesday, April 22, 2009

THe DAting World

Listen to me! Listen to me! Why is dating so hard? Why can't I find the one? DO you ever ask yourself these questions? DO YOU? Be Honest. No one will know. Let me help where i can.
Believe it or not i have failed at dating once or twice or three times...okay it happens enough to keep me continually guessing and completely confused about girls! Which is a lot!
Let me give you 5 things that i have done that are not wise to do with that girl you asked out and want to take out we Go!
1-Just be yourself! Numero uno DO NOT TRY TO HARD! What i mean by that is don't try to the point where you are not yourself! You want her to like you for you after all and not the fake you....This really is huge.!
2-DO NOT read into texts too much! People are different...some people text a lot and some don't; some girls text flirty and some don't; some girls text you after a date and some don't. (although if they do text you after the date that is a good sign).  The point is that you cannot convey emotion sarcasm or anything like that over text so just don't read into texts too much.  My advice is take every text literally as to what it reads.
3-DO NOT overreact especially early in the dating! I know how you feel guys when you kind of start crushing on a girl after a date or two and than for one reason or another you get this idea in your head for whatever reason that something is wrong! What do we want to do? We want to know...My advice is relax remember that you do not want to overreact over something that probably is not even true.  Just learn to let it roll off of your back!
4-Remember that dating does not mean you are getting married! The point of dating is to build relationships and find things that you like in girls.  You WILL find your best friend whom you will want to marry but there is no reason that the others should not be friends.
5-Follow your GUT! If you think that she wants to cuddle or hold your hand and your GUT says go for it than do it! If you feel like your GUT is telling you to hold off than hold off! We are humans we need to bridal our feelings. It has been my discovery that 88.97% percent of the time your GUT is right! IF your GUT is wrong you can laugh about it later! hahaha Also keep in mind that when you kiss, hold hands, or cuddle when the time is right it will be 93 times more meaningful and enjoyable! 
Well spoken from a true girl amateur i hope it helps men! And to all those girls i have failed with at my own advice i sincerely apologize and want you to know that i am constantly living and learning!!!
Jordan Mulford this one is actually kind of serious!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Hello Hello i am so sorry that i have been gone!!! Let us talk of women!

Dear valiant readers,
I know that i have been gone for so long! I hope that you can forgive me for this heinous crime! However i have spent much of my time recently with friends and trying to pursue women!
Can i ask you all something? I need your feedback! I took a girl out the other night and i had a really good time with her and we laughed and played and frolicked all night okay so we did not really do that all but most of it! Needless to say it was fun barring that i was a little nervous and thus made a few awkward comments...oh well live and learn right. So finally it comes down to the post game date action and this is where i think things went badly. Post game dating action is not the action you are all thinking of you sickos! It is like the texting after and possibly hanging out again later that week! Hmm this is how it went down:
Text from me: Hey thanks for the date that was way fun!
Text from her: Oh it was way fun thankyou!
Text from me: You looked nice tonight!
Text from her: (no response)
Text from me: Are you still living..i want to marry you!
Text from her: (no response)
Text from me: Tomorrow maybe?!
Text from her: umm please never text me again!
Text from me: Uhh you love me!!! just admit it!
Text from her: YOu smell like tuna!
So i bet your with me when i say that she is a major jerk right!!! I mean i said nothing mean or offensive...all my texts were basically positive. right?
Dear women out there what am i doing wrong!!! I just am not sure how to deal with this rejection! i think that i might just bury my head in sand like an osterich!
Of course this is not even real at all hahaha urghh but i seriously hear comments like this all the time even from my own lips! they may not be as exaggerated or actually similar at all! but i will tell you that i have no idea what makes girls interested in certain boys and uninterested in others. I quote the immortal words of my friend Nick, "It all started when Eve was beguiled by the serpent...women are still being beguiled to day." what do i mean by this well let me tell you...girls always ignore and reject the nice guys that really care...and yet this is who girls claim to be looking for but in reality they are looking for some mysterious, rude, possibly tatooed man with a leather jacket that treats them like crap! Girls want men that they cannot have they are beguiled by these serpent like men! Guys you hear me you have all been through it! (cheers arise from the depths of the web).
Hmmm well girls please look at us more than once give us a chance we will try to be better at not being nerds we will even wear leather jackets if you want us to! We are all cool at least to some level! Another thing girls dont be afraid of RM's...contrary to common belief we dont all want to get married tomorrow..maybe the next day NOT...we are cool too...infact i was probably in High School the same time you all were and lets remember going on a mission is a good thing!
Jordan Mulford