Thursday, March 29, 2012

How should i know...I am a man!!

To: "the uninterested girl"
Maybe i have the intelligence of that sabre-toothed squirrel chasing acorns on the movie Ice Age (his actual name is Scrat). Maybe i have no tact like a racist grandma who hates your Jewish friends. Maybe i am as inexperienced at dating as Ugly Betty. Whatever the case may be I just need to know where you stand. I feel like i get conflicting messages...let me give you some examples.
We went out on our one date and I feel like we had a good time during those brief moments between your texting with "just some guy."-I am happy! However, i have tried to ask you out several times since and every time you lose your phone -I am unhappy! Luckily, on the other hand, you seem to always find it four hours later (like clock work) and send me that reassuring message, "hey jord...lost my phone...tots sux...4 reals sorry...may-b another time...;)" Oh how that winking emoticon gets me!!! I am happy! However, your real actions speak louder than your texted abrevs and smiley faces...for example, you seem to always find a way out of talking to me in class. I mean you have felt like ill and ditched class early four times this semester; Once you lost speaking ability because a bee stung your tongue; and twice you were asleep in your seat before i got to class and awoke just as class ended. What is the deal? I am unhappy!
I feel like I have the emotions of a middle school girl!!! I am up and i am down!!! Where are we?! Where do i stand?! On one hand you are being flirty in text and nice and for goodness sakes you have never VOCALLY EXPLAINED THAT YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED. On the other hand, however, you treat me like I threw a small puppy off of a very large bridge...like your disgusted!
Wait!!!!
I think i have you figured out...you are probably like girls in "chick flick movies." I just need to wait you out. Oh my gosh!! In reality you love me...you just don't know it yet!
Well my dear I'll have you know that i am no fool...I read you loud and clear lady! Your actions say, "You suck like a young calf on a mother cow's utter." Your words say, "You have such a sweet spirit." I can read between the lines...you're in love with me!!!! You are just confused by your feelings. Having so many hormones and "times of the month" probably does not help. Well I just wanted to let you know that i am here and i will keep asking you out and being your man until that time when you can just verbalize what we both already know...You love me!
Love, "another clueless boy"

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Mash-up of my life since Jerusalem

Wow it has been an eternity since i wrote on this blog...only shorter. I am going to make a list....a list of some significant things that have happened to me or things that i have done since i got back to the United States of America...
1-Really got into running
a-ran several half marathons
b-ran the Red Rock Relay with my friends and took second place (that 160 some odd miles suckas)
c-ran the Top of Utah full marathon...(both the worst and best thing that i have done)
2-Dated a girl in the nursing program named Rachel
3-Dated another girl in the nursing program named Rachel...really two times with two different Rachels...both great girls by the way.
4-Am almost done with my Exercise Science Major at Brigham Young University...looking at PT schools currently
5-lived at home one summer...fun but...never again.
6-Sea World
7-Drove from Utah to Kentucky and than up through Michigan and down through my mission in Wisconsin...hit up Chicago on my birthday and went to a Cubs game...also added Nauvoo temple to my temple quest.
8-Worked for my Uncle Ryan last summer...
9-First time gambling in Vegas...I won money...i can see how gambling could be addictive
10-Lived with my buddy Steven Mac Shelley and we enjoyed many crazy experiences...(5 hours of straight Tuchanos, a short modeling carreer, throwing flash mob wedding, starring in awesome commercials...etc.)
11-Pig Wrestling...took 3rd...I know 3 is not a winner
12-Got hired as a tour guide in Alaska only to be discriminated against and un-hired due to diabetes.
13-Lived through 5 floods in my basement apartment south of Provo...house living is not all its cracked up to be.
14-Seen my siblings grow to receive the Priesthood and become men
15-Moved to Sparks 2
16-Various church callings that have helped me grow one of which was being a primary teacher
17-met many new people and made lots of new friends
18-turned 25...quarter century
19-City league softball...world's worst...i thought it was my fault and was spotty in attendance
20-quit my job as a BYU intramurals supervisor and am enjoying playing more than one sport per season now.
21-my buddy Jordan Wade got married...what! Oh Todd Matthews, Oh pretty much Marc Steele....okay so pretty much most of my friends are married...I am a late bloomer okay
22-witnessed Jimmermania, Linsanity, and Tebowmania
23-trying to get back into playing lots of bball
24-all the college fun times (shooting, dates, golf, Festival of Colors, go-carts, hustling my roommates via bowling, house warming parties...etc.)
25-won a job with the Utah Jazz
26-finally bought a laptop
27-played Willy Nilly
28-applied to be on the Bachelorette

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