Sunday, February 22, 2009

well hello dear readers how are you all today? If the answer is good than i am pleased,if the answer is not so great you need to go put shaving cream on your hand and than tickle yourself with an eagle feather!!!
WEll i must say that i have not had anything good to poke fun at for some time but now i think i have got it!!!! wahaha Have you ever seen your face...jokes jokes...really have you ever met anyone that is a pyro? Well let me tell you how scary these guys can be...i say guys because 98% of the time Pyros are of the male gender. Raise your hand if you have ever been at scout camp around the fire eating oatmeal or something and you noticed one boy scout exhibiting odd behavior...Such as pouring lighterfluid on the fire creating a stream of flame heading towards his own hand which is HOLDING A FLAMMABLE CONTAINER OF LIGHTER FLUID...the kid might as well be holding a proximity mine from the game Goldeneye for N64(those suckers are dangerous)!! Another common thing pyros do for excitement is to jump in and out of the camp fire to see if he can out quick the flames that are just licking there lips...Pyros often will try to light there own little fire right next to the regular fire just because they can...or they will make torches to carry around...if the pyro is really bad he will actually tie bullets together and throw those in the fire just to see if he can actually dodge death! Yeah that is a great idea Capernicus!
So for your own safety i wanna give you a few things to look for so that you can steer clear of these angels of death!
1-if you see a boy running around with hair spray and a lighter you may wanna hide in the nearest bomb shelter!
2-If you see a boy wearing a tan shirt with green shorts and a green sash with or without barf green and red socks i would not make friends with him cause chances are he has singed and scalded his fair share of people.
3-If a boy tells you he has saved all his money for the fourth of July..Run!
4-If his name is Jeb or Abe or Rev the chances are high that he is a pyro genetically.
Well there are a few tips for you...
So what if you get cornered by one of these people that have more furry in them than five actual Suns....?
1-Always have a bottle of water available...(there is nothing more scary to a Pyro than water...In fact statistics show that 9 out of every 11 Pyros are afraid of water! Another statistic recently published in READERS DIGEST hinted at new studies pointing to the fact that there has never been a shark descovered with Pyro tendencies)
2-DO not put hairspray in your hair or flammable gel on your dome if you sit in front of a boy with an ammo belt of lighters...this would not be wise.
3-Try to stay close to girls because chances are they are not a pyro and there is an even higher chance that they will never be interested in a pyro....because although Pyros are HOT they are not hot if you know what i mean?
SO what happens if one of these flame happy goofballs lights you on fire? Well than a couple options are before could jump in a lake, you could stop and drop and roll, or you could light the pyro on fire and both of you could burn to death together! well i hope i was of some help have a good day readers.

Friday, February 20, 2009


Have you ever really really really liked someone and yet been confused about whether you should feel the way you do?  I have and i can tell you that it is hard!  This girl was so unique and special...she was a brightness glowing through an ever dimming world!  I loved how she laughed and giggled.  I loved that she had a strong set of beliefs and wanted to have a family and children that shared those beliefs.  She was always fun to be with.  To kiss her was the best thing ever! When we served others together our friendship grew! I often thought about her and hung out with her. THis girl and i went through a lot of hard times and a lot of fun times!  Sometimes i could see her and i together and just being best friends, because that is what she was...MY BEST FRIEND.  
Our history was a complex one... some times it made me so mad or frustrated that i would do dumb things or say stupid stuff!  Other times she made me so so Happy!  I guess that is how relationships are sometimes though!  She often had a hard time expressing her feelings and that was hard but i am getting better! She is a great woman and will be forever i am sure...i wonder though if i should like her.  SHe is gorgeous and funny and i love the cute little things she does...they just strengthen my feelings for her.  For example when she gets mad or frustrated her face is so cute and it just makes me smile.  Or when she laughs and laughs and laughs with me...she just glows!  ANother time is when she digs deep and talks about her passions and things she loves...when she does that i fall for her all over again! But she cant talk that way about me! 
She left now...and she will be gone for sometimes we are still good friends and the other day we talked on the phone and just laughed and laughed like we used to.  I know she wants to come home and i think she needs to date other guys and she realizes that too.  In her quest she will realize what she wants and whoever it is i wish her luck!  i really do...cause love is care and i care that she does well and is happy and i know that i am not always the best at that.  I know that i even get jealous tinges but i know this; she needs her freedom to choose what she wants...she needs to taste more flavors of ice cream before she can choose a favorite!  And you know what i probably do too!!! 
In all this mumbo jumbo i am writing i believe this....If people are living right than whatever is supposed to happen will!  The Lord will see to it! 

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


The air was warm and moist as i retied my shoe. My fingers felt thick and sweaty as i tied the double knot slowly. My shoes really had not needed to be tied but i was tired and this was a way to rest without calling a timeout...besides i had two big free throws in front of me that would help determine the outcome of this game! Why not be fresh? Finally i stood and faced the basket; the ref threw me the ball. It was dry and perfect! I lined up my right foot with the nail on the free throw line. My mind wandered, and i realized that 95% of human beings and even basketball fans probably did not know that this nail existed. There it was dependable as the north star lined up perfectly with the basket. I set my left foot about half a foot behind and a shoulder width away from the other. I dribbled now three times and caught the ball. I lined up my fingers in the grooves they call felt like home. Two drops of my own sweat dropped on the balls surface and started to slowly drip down its side,"just like tears running down your cheeks when you cry i thought." With my finger pads on the ball I lifted it near my head; my right hand under the ball with my elbow forming a right angle. My left hand caressing the left side of the ball serving as a guide. "Now for the easy part," i thought..."just reach over the front of the rim and flick the wrist." The motion was fluid as it should be, seeing that i had shot the shot over 50,000 times. It was like art! The ball floated with perfect arch and back spin through the clanked over the front of the rim and fell in! "Shooters touch," I thought, "the next shot would not be so lucky. My mind and body adjusted...this one would touch nothing but the net!" I repeated the process almost flawlessly and my confidence was not in famine! As the ball floated through the air i thought of the circumstances, "down by two and now one. When this one went in we would be tied with the enemy. I am a hero." at that moment i saw the ball going long. "Oh no!" The ball hit the rim in back and than in front and then on one side and than it fell off and right into the hands of their center. The game was over and i had lost it for my boys. This time tears really were falling down my cheeks. HUMBLED.
HAAHAHAHAHAHA that is poetry in motion my friends!

Monday, February 16, 2009


Oh my dear friends you may be reading this on my blog or on my facebook account....but either way come and stay with me at!!! read and laugh or read and cry and than leave your comments below...I want to know how you feel and i want to read your opinions. They brighten my day like the sun brightens our small solar system! If you like you can even follow my blog; that would make me feel special!!! The blog is the cog that turns your world much like non-alcoholic egg nog. Please join me in the world of blogging and let us experience a whole new world together....A whole new world...a dazzling place i never knew...but when i am way up here its crystal clear that now I'm in a whole new blog world with you....I expect Sean, Brett, Cassidy, Kelsi, Emily and Emily, Tod and Todd, Matt and everyone else to come and experience this new and adventurous blogging world with me.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

EAT Your heart out Brett Kocherhans literally

Last night i had the wonderful opportunity to go to the stunning blockbuster hit...Twilight!!! Yes it was an action packed and classic tail of mortal and nonmortal love. Running deeper however were other hidden themes; such as control versus...well non-control, purpose of life, nazi propoganda, and even the doctor verses midwife debate! It was a great movie even at 2 in the morning. However as we left the theatre my roomate and i found ourselves scratching our heads and wondering what is really better Werewolves or Vampires.????
After much thought over the last 15 minutes i have decided that Vampires take the cake!!! I have many reasons for my conclusion that Vampires are the better monster.
1-Dracula...need i say more? If werewolves would they not also have some sort of named hero? No they don't...why because they are a pack of dumb mutts. Vampires have a heroic icon much like the Greeks had Herculies and Huns had Attila. This is a true sign of cultural and social advancement! Clearly Vampires are more advanced than their k9 counterparts!
2-Vampires are super hard to kill....i mean what are the chances of actually being stabbed in the heart with a stake...Well let me tell you what they are according to my research(which was extensive). The chances of being stabbed in the heart with a stake are exactly 1 in every 30090897!!!! yeah those are the facts, i didn't make them up. That means that you are more likely to have a mosquito fly in your nose and run into your cerebral cortex causing an immediate brain hemmorage and death. If i was a vampire i would like my chances.
3-Immortality is another reason why vampires are way sweeter! Vampirest literally can live forever. In fact just 3 months ago a vampire was discovered who predated cro magnan men by more than 400 years. That vampire is quite literally old. With this superior age comes a certain honing of monster skills, an added intelligence level, and Darwinistic like natural selection in which great traits are contnually passed down through the years!
4-Things in the movie also made a strong case in my mind for why vampires are superior to the dogs. They dont sleep, meaning they have more time to expand every aspect of their lives; They don't eat which means they are going to save a lot on rent and probably be able to live in nicer homes and in stabler communities. They can in fact be in the sun and not die (which was a major worrying point for me for some time). They drive sweet cars (i would like to see a monster with paws do that). They run fast. And apparently they are made to be attractive so as to lure people to them.
Well there you go four things that definitely show that Vampires are superior to Werewolves...
Really though just ask yourself when you feel alone in the dark and the moon is full..."What would be more scary right now, 'man's best friend' or a pale but beautriful individual with blood stained fangs waliking towards you saying 'i want to suck your blood?'"
In fact let me tell you what i would do if a Werewolf attacked me...first i would pat my legs and bend over calling, "here puppy"...then i would pull out a stick and throw it into the distance. The way i figure it that dog would probably just run off after the stick...Fetch is in it's DNA...and even if that didnt work i would just pull our a vienna sausage and as he stuffed his face i would simply walk away. I mean let's be honest this is baxically the same animal that chases its tail, slobbers on the carpet, pees on the floor, and licks itself!

If there are young children that read my blog please know that contrary to common beleif vampires and werewolves dont exist unless you are reading Goosebumps.

Friday, February 13, 2009


Hello to all those that will read this post! I want you all to know that i am a Mormon; or more correctly a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am proud of it! It is something that i really believe in so i hope that no one will judge me for my faith. It truly helps me be a better person.
I just wanted to add a little blurb to all those that dislike Mormons...please don't. I have been to many churches and i truly think that pretty much every faith is a positive one and i truly believe that 99.9% percent of faiths try to help people and do help people. I want all those that criticize the Mormon faith to realize that it is the same!! It is a good organization that tries to do what is right. It is one of the biggest helps in relief aid that there is! The Mormons were some of the first at the scene to help with Hurricane Katrina. They are there to aid in every natural disaster! There welfare program is one of the best that there is! The church has helped millions!
I am not trying to say that Mormons are the best or anything like that. I just want you to know that in the world today there are 1 billion Muslims, 1 billion Catholics, 13 million Jews, and there are 13 million Mormons. We are here and i find it sad that all my life i have seen my faith be attacked over and over again. I especially dislike when we are attacked by those that don't have very much knowledge of what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints actually teaches. My one plea is educate yourself about Mormons...and by educating yourself i don't mean go to as many anti-Mormon people as possible! Go to the source...find out what really is happening? If you have questions ask...some good websites to find information out at are and if you would like just post any questions you have in the comment box below and i will do my best to get you an honest and completely true answer!!
Thanks for listening.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Falcon Scouts

Have you ever been in a real jam where you just felt up against the wall and thought that there was no escape? Was that jam involving a group of crazed Eagle Scouts that surrounded you and started pushing you around and calling you "Tenderfoot"? Well like most American males between the ages of 18 and 26 who were not motivated enough, or just did not get their Eagle Scout award I had this happen to me twice this week!!! How about you girls who just did not have the opportunity to even get an Eagle?? For all of you that can empathize with me on this one i have something that will completely solve all your tan shirt, green shorted problems...It is called Falcon Scouts!! Yup that is right i said "Falcon Scouts"!!!
The next time you are walking down a dark alley in the middle of the night and you think that you here someone whispering, "Be Prepared" or you feel a cool dark neckerchief at the back of your neck or you see legs in green and red socks dart behind a dumpster. You just remember that you are a Falcon Scout....That is right you ARE a Falcon Scout!! You see the only actual requirement is to read this blog and than you are officially in!!! Trust me Falcon scouting is way awesome!!! As soon as you say that your are a Falcon, which is also a bird of prey like the Eagle but quicker, those Eagle Scouts will not mess with you! Trust me it happened to me a fortnight ago. Just as i was getting square knotted to a chair i remembered (thanks to my Falcon ring). I yelled, "hey please don't mess with me i am a full fledged Falcon scout" as the words passed through my oral orifice a look of panic spread across there faces and they ran. I definitely know that it was cause of what i said...others may argue that they ran due to the fact that someone through a pipe bomb down the alley towards us...luckily it was a dud but to the Eagle scouts i ask, "If you are so prepared why couldn't you diffuse a bomb, huh?"
AS you yell your allegiance they will quickly realize a few things: 1-they will recall that Eagles are not the only birds in the sky. 2- they will also realize that we are better. 3-finally they will realize that we are better. they will tuck there little feathery tails between there talons and fly away to there over sized nests!!!
What exactly do Falcon Scouts do? Well common Falcon Scout activities are Ganoeing(rocket propelled canoeing), whirling derbishing, and fighting Eagle Scouts in ruthless gang fights in alleys with tridents, and wearing our uniforms around!!
Well i also want you to know that at our annual party P Diddy and Notorious B.I.G. are going to be there and also a young man i simply know as Randy but you may know him as BOW WOW! So if you are a true Falcon Scout you are more then welcome to come...but if you are an Eagle Scout you can't because Diddy and Notorious were not Eagle scouts and well BOW WOW is not sure so there!
In closing if you feel in constant fear and you know that if you go outside you may find yourself over a well made flint and steel fire just remember what it would feel like to be apart of an elite organization of your own and call out with pride, " I am a FALCON!"

Contrary to common belief this is not a real organization....however it could be for a price!


Well my intramural team lost for the first team this season and it was rough...Oh dear!! I feel like we should have won...I mean we have enough talent but we just struggled to be on the same page all night. Haaha it is not like i helped; i definitely played like a hippopotomus with a turn glut muscle it was quite sad!!!
The worst thing that happened though was that i lost my temper even at my roomate who is like one of my best buds. Ughh i just was frustrated at myself and unjustly let that concern spill over to my teamates. Well this is a melancholy and not so great first blog; I am new to the craze!!!!
Well the lesson that i learned, yet again, is the fact that i need to be more humble...and basketball is not that big of a deal!
On a brighter note lately i have been addicted to the tv show heroes and man when i say addicted i mean like a moth to the flame! IT is good and i am sure others can relate!
WEll it has been fun; the blogs willl get better!