Have you ever been in a real jam where you just felt up against the wall and thought that there was no escape? Was that jam involving a group of crazed Eagle Scouts that surrounded you and started pushing you around and calling you "Tenderfoot"? Well like most American males between the ages of 18 and 26 who were not motivated enough, or just did not get their Eagle Scout award I had this happen to me twice this week!!! How about you girls who just did not have the opportunity to even get an Eagle?? For all of you that can empathize with me on this one i have something that will completely solve all your tan shirt, green shorted problems...It is called Falcon Scouts!! Yup that is right i said "Falcon Scouts"!!!
The next time you are walking down a dark alley in the middle of the night and you think that you here someone whispering, "Be Prepared" or you feel a cool dark neckerchief at the back of your neck or you see legs in green and red socks dart behind a dumpster. You just remember that you are a Falcon Scout....That is right you ARE a Falcon Scout!! You see the only actual requirement is to read this blog and than you are officially in!!! Trust me Falcon scouting is way awesome!!! As soon as you say that your are a Falcon, which is also a bird of prey like the Eagle but quicker, those Eagle Scouts will not mess with you! Trust me it happened to me a fortnight ago. Just as i was getting square knotted to a chair i remembered (thanks to my Falcon ring). I yelled, "hey please don't mess with me i am a full fledged Falcon scout" as the words passed through my oral orifice a look of panic spread across there faces and they ran. I definitely know that it was cause of what i said...others may argue that they ran due to the fact that someone through a pipe bomb down the alley towards us...luckily it was a dud but to the Eagle scouts i ask, "If you are so prepared why couldn't you diffuse a bomb, huh?"
AS you yell your allegiance they will quickly realize a few things: 1-they will recall that Eagles are not the only birds in the sky. 2- they will also realize that we are better. 3-finally they will realize that we are better. they will tuck there little feathery tails between there talons and fly away to there over sized nests!!!
What exactly do Falcon Scouts do? Well common Falcon Scout activities are Ganoeing(rocket propelled canoeing), whirling derbishing, and fighting Eagle Scouts in ruthless gang fights in alleys with tridents, and wearing our uniforms around!!
Well i also want you to know that at our annual party P Diddy and Notorious B.I.G. are going to be there and also a young man i simply know as Randy but you may know him as BOW WOW! So if you are a true Falcon Scout you are more then welcome to come...but if you are an Eagle Scout you can't because Diddy and Notorious were not Eagle scouts and well BOW WOW is not sure so there!
In closing if you feel in constant fear and you know that if you go outside you may find yourself over a well made flint and steel fire just remember what it would feel like to be apart of an elite organization of your own and call out with pride, " I am a FALCON!"
Contrary to common belief this is not a real organization....however it could be for a price!