Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Hello Hello i am so sorry that i have been gone!!! Let us talk of women!

Dear valiant readers,
I know that i have been gone for so long! I hope that you can forgive me for this heinous crime! However i have spent much of my time recently with friends and trying to pursue women!
Can i ask you all something? I need your feedback! I took a girl out the other night and i had a really good time with her and we laughed and played and frolicked all night okay so we did not really do that all but most of it! Needless to say it was fun barring that i was a little nervous and thus made a few awkward comments...oh well live and learn right. So finally it comes down to the post game date action and this is where i think things went badly. Post game dating action is not the action you are all thinking of you sickos! It is like the texting after and possibly hanging out again later that week! Hmm this is how it went down:
Text from me: Hey thanks for the date that was way fun!
Text from her: Oh it was way fun thankyou!
Text from me: You looked nice tonight!
Text from her: (no response)
Text from me: Are you still living..i want to marry you!
Text from her: (no response)
Text from me: Tomorrow maybe?!
Text from her: umm please never text me again!
Text from me: Uhh you love me!!! just admit it!
Text from her: YOu smell like tuna!
So i bet your with me when i say that she is a major jerk right!!! I mean i said nothing mean or offensive...all my texts were basically positive. right?
Dear women out there what am i doing wrong!!! I just am not sure how to deal with this rejection! i think that i might just bury my head in sand like an osterich!
Of course this is not even real at all hahaha urghh but i seriously hear comments like this all the time even from my own lips! they may not be as exaggerated or actually similar at all! but i will tell you that i have no idea what makes girls interested in certain boys and uninterested in others. I quote the immortal words of my friend Nick, "It all started when Eve was beguiled by the serpent...women are still being beguiled to day." what do i mean by this well let me tell you...girls always ignore and reject the nice guys that really care...and yet this is who girls claim to be looking for but in reality they are looking for some mysterious, rude, possibly tatooed man with a leather jacket that treats them like crap! Girls want men that they cannot have they are beguiled by these serpent like men! Guys you hear me you have all been through it! (cheers arise from the depths of the web).
Hmmm well girls please look at us more than once give us a chance we will try to be better at not being nerds we will even wear leather jackets if you want us to! We are all cool at least to some level! Another thing girls dont be afraid of RM's...contrary to common belief we dont all want to get married tomorrow..maybe the next day NOT...we are cool too...infact i was probably in High School the same time you all were and lets remember going on a mission is a good thing!
Jordan Mulford


  1. Yes. This is so true. You have truly addressed one of the greatest mysteries that is the female population.

  2. Oh jordan you crack me up!! still wondering about the mind of a woman are we? Well good luck with that! My advice is to give up! :) haha