Mustache Militia

Here i stand in the Holiest of Lands! I have stood in the presence of world wonders like the Nile and the Pyramids. I look out my bedroom window every morning and see the dome of the rock and the western wall. I sleep and awake to the Jerusalem call to prayer...I truly live in a land of magic carpet rides; it is a whole new world! How could i dare close my eyes? Such a beautiful place and yet i yearn for more!!! My heart it cries, "what a gaping hole there is in my left atrium...What is missing?!!!" I listen and i wonder and ponder. After many nights of resltess dreams and lost sleep due to the worry and need to fill my broken heart i have come to only one conclusion! I must join with the Mustache Militia!!! They have been signing volunteers here but a fortnight ago. I must sign my soul to a contract binding me to the growth of facial hair on my upper lip....this and only this will calm my troubled mind. In the carefully sculpted short stubble on my upper lip i will find peace...
If you too feel lost and alone....maybe your heart and soul cry out, "help us we need comfort!" consider the Mustache Militia. They are an elite group of substantial military prowess similar to that of the Navy Seals or the Green Berets...and yet they are more. It is truly a misconception that they are a symbol of burps and farts...wife beater t-shirts and Nascar. They are upper class gentleman with standards..."forks on the left and knives on the right," they order the uneducated. They are a symbol of all manhood. Raw Testosterone!!! They can simultaneously fold a man into a pretzel; Eat a nine course meal in a tux; and take a shower!
Think of the greats...Tom Selik...Chuck Norris...and Johnny Depp.
Mustache equals Peace!!!
cordially yours,
Jordan Mulford

The Wall

Well hello one and all...I know that i have not written as diligently as i need to do!!! I do have things to tell you though about this wonderful land we call Holy!! It is fantastic...I have visited many places and been witness to many examples of different religious beliefs...Let me tell you about one such occasion...There is a wall here known as the Wailing Wall this wall is held sacred by the Jewish people and they often are found worshipping at the wall. Jews will often pray at the wall and write written prayers and stick them into the cracks of the wall...when they pray they rock back and forth and read from the scriptures. They do this so that they can show the Lord that they are using their heart, might, mind and souls in their worship! After praying they back up slowly from the wall so as not to turn there backs on the Lord. I have also prayed at the wall and stuck my written prayer into the cracks that are all over in it.

Why is this wall so sacred you may ask. Well let me give you the brief synopsis. This is where the temple of Solomon stood before it was destroyed...than Zerubabel rebuilt his temple their. Finally Herod added onto the temple and made it a marvelous and magnificent place in his time.
This temple was destroyed by the Romans in 70AD. The Wall is what is left of the temple mount of Herod's temple. It is holy to the Jews as it is the last remnant of the temple that they have!

The other night i went to the temple to welcome in the Sabbath with my peers. The wall was transformed to a jovial party. When these guys say they are welcoming in the Sabbath they really do a bang up job!!! WE were dancing and singing and making merry! It was such a cool experience....people were in there nice clothes praying and worshipping together....It was so cool!!! Bottom line if you are the kind of person that is spiritual and at the same time loves to party it up...I have found the place for you!!!

Jerusalem!!!

Well hello my dear and faithful readers...I have found myself in the Holy Land....and all that i can say is WOW!!! It is amazing already...as i have witnessed the Muslim call to Prayer and the Christian worship at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre and also watched the Orthodox Jews praying i have felt the spirit so strongly....The people are so devout!!! I walked throught he streets of the old city yesterday and i was in shock as i winded in and out of allyways and small streets with shops on every side...It was as if i went back in time to the time of Christ!!! I love this place and i promise to post pics and to keep you updated with more stories when i have more to say....

Hmmm have no fear i am still here!

Hello faithful friends and followers of this blog i have not forgotten about you and in fact i have some things to write today! I know you probably all thought that i died from the swine flu or from some disease that developed from a third world country but i am hoping to put a stop to these rumors now. I have a tale to tell you that truly occurred to me the other day.

Once upon a time i was drafted in the 13th round of the Provo City League draft to the proud "Dish One" team! It was a great day for my family and i and although their is no guaranteed money my rookie year (or ever for that matter) I hope that i can play well enough to get into a Spanish Developmental league or something where i could make minimum wage! I know that i have lofty goals but hey what i am a dreamer.

The season debut came at Centennial Middle School in front of a capacity crowd of 4 people and 1 infant...man was i nervous. My nerves soon gave way to basketball instinct however as i slipped on the ice rink we were playing on back and forth through the first half. I finished as my teams leading scorer with 6 points or something like that. The juices were flowing now and everything was looking towards a bright career in untalented basketball leagues throughout the world! I am pretty sure that is how Greg Ostertag and Chris Kaman got there starts and look at them now!!! Need i say more?

Early in the third quarter disaster struck! I was running a loose ball down on the baseline and like a large predatory cat i leaped to save the basketball...It was beautiful and then everything went dark! I woke up a couple minutes later surrounded by people...apparently i had run myself into the brick wall on the baseline and knocked myself out! Everything was fuzzy and i was really loopy for the rest of the evening! A few days, six stitches and a black eye later i am here to tell you that i am okay and have realized my dreams of being an underground basketball pro have fallen short...much like other childhood dreams i have had...like being a cop, being an NFL star, winning the Tour De France and being able to tap dance! I just am writing to let my fans know of my retirement from the Provo City League...It will be another five years before i can be drafted into the PCL Hall of Fame where i may join greats like...Ostertag, Shawn Bradley, Ronnie Price, Brett Kocherhans and Marky Mark (Mark Wahlberg).

Quidditch..

Well brothers and sisters of the blog i just wanted to report to you one of the funnest and yet dumbest dates i have ever been a part of....I call it muggle Quidditch!!! Yeah that is what i wrote...Quidditch! A sport that seperates men and women from boys and girls. Stars of the pitch hit the field with brooms between there legs this past week!

IT was a overcast and cool evening when the teams from Gryffindor and Slytherin hit the BYU intermural field. This would be a clash of the titans....let us introduce the players...

For Slytherin from Bingham High School we had both Brian and Mallory...From Snow Canyon HIgh School Jordan and Lyndee...from Davis High we had Katie and finally from Timpanogus HIgh School Jeremy Jeffs.

For Gryffindor also from Bingham High School we had Kelsi Hansen who was accompanied by Brett Kocherhans from Timpanogus HIgh School. From Delta High we have Karylinne. From somewhere in the great state of Maine was Scott. Finally from Davis high we had Sammy and her date Steve who is from Fresno...

They had come from far and wide to compete here in Provo Utah! It was to be a battle remembered for the coming eons!

The match started slowly as both teams conserved energy...but the quiet was soon broken as karylinne nailed Jeremy Jeffs with a bludger right in the face...It was on like Donkey Kong!

Kelsi Hansen quickly showed why she was in the running for MVP of the AQL (American Quiditch League) as she promptly scored 3 goals all on fast breaks. she was just outrunning the feild and it became quickly apparent that Slytherin needed a defensive boost...enter Jordan Mulford and Brian Bourne aka the Bash Brothers...The Bash Brothers began controlling Kelsi and Brett's High powered attacks with counter attacks of bludgers.

While The Bash Brothers controlled Brett and Kelsi...Slytherins attacking trio of Jeremy, Mallory and Lyndee poured on some heat offensively. The score became tight.

HOwever the comeback was short lived as Gryffindor dug deep...Karylinne and Scott played some rough defense hitting Slytherin players with there brooms. In interview Scott Meile said, "It got rough out there and me and my girl just laid a beat down on those idiots..." When asked if Gryffindor played dirty Karylinne responded, "Do we play dirty...I guess if you call hitting peoples faces with brooms dirty than absolutely yes!"

While the team rivalry was obviously heated it pailed in comparison to the individual rivalry between Katie and Sammy. They both had played at DAvis High together. "YEah we played high school Quidditch together but that doesn't mean i like her...In fact i have hated sammy ever since i was a girl...she stole my polly pockets one afternoon while playing at my house." The rivalry was evident as Sammy and Katie gunned for only each other the whole game! It was crazy!

With 4 minutes left Jeremy scored 2 goals to pull Slytherine within 3 goals but the come back was to late as time ran out shortly thereafter! In the end it was Gryffindor who pulled out the victory!

All in all this battle of titans was one for the records!